|
|
JAMES
BOND AND WATER
Much ballyhoo has been made in the study of the world’s greatest secret
agent, James Bond, when it comes to his various vices. He smokes. He drinks. He
drives fast. He’s the pleasure-seeking adventurer. And the women. We must not
forget the many women of the James Bond films. Indeed James can’t end a
mission without having a beautiful beauty in his arms.
But
what of water? More than half of the films end with James not only in the arms
of a woman but also in some proximity of water. This heretofore-unexplored
phenomenon of the James Bond films must be explored and understood. Look at the
list below and now you can see the truth. James, for some reason, needs water at
the end of a mission. Why?
1.
Dr. No – James is in a boat with Honey Rider
2.
From Russia With Love – James is in a small boat in Venice with Tatiana Romanova.
3.
Goldfinger – James is on the ground among a parachute and Pussy Galore. No water.
4.
Thunderball – James is on the ocean in a life raft with Domino Vitali just before they are
5.
You Only Live Twice – James is on the ocean in yet another life raft with Kissy Suzuki
6.
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – James is in a car when Blofeld kills his new wife, Tracy,
7.
Diamonds Are Forever – James is on a luxury cruise on the ocean with Tiffany Case.
8.
Live and Let Die – James is on a train with Solitaire. No water.
9.
The Man With the Golden Gun – James is on Scaramanga’s wooden sailing barge with
10.
The Spy Who Loved Me – James is on the ocean in one of Stromberg’s luxurious
life
11.
Moonraker – James is in orbit with Holly Goodhead taking her “around the world one
more
12.
For Your Eyes Only – James is taking a moonlight swim with Melina Havelock.
13.
Octopussy – James is on Octopussy’s yacht taking advantage of his “weakened
14.
Never Say Never Again – While not an official Bond, in keeping with tradition, James is in
15.
A View to a Kill – James is in the shower “cleaning up a few
details” with Stacey Sutton. No
16.
The Living Daylights – James sneaks backstage at a classical music concert to be
with
17.
License to Kill – James jumps into a swimming pool and pulls Pam Bouvier in with him.
18.
Goldeneye – James is somewhere on the island of Cuba? With Natalya Simonova. No
19.
Tomorrow Never Dies – James is on the ocean with Wai Lin romantically enjoying the
fact
20.
The World Is Not Enough – James is in a room taking a well-deserved Christmas
Jones
21.
Die Another Day – James and Jinx are in a house, romantically wondering if they can
keep
22. Casino Royale
– In the Bond reboot, the film's climax involves Bond losing his lady love,
23. Quantum of Solace
– This first ever direct sequel did not end in water but in the desert. It
So there you go of 23 films, 13 of them end in water. If you count the
proximity to water for the beach houses in Die Another Day, Casino
Royale, as well as the baddie's plans in Quantum of Solace, that’s 16. If
one includes the floating at the end of “Moonraker” that’s 17.
17 of 23!
Clearly, if one includes actual dousings, effects, and proximity, James
Bond has a psychological fixation to water.
What does it mean? Is it a subconscious need on his part? Does he feel
dirty and has the need for a cleaning? Does it represent a baptism, a washing
away of the guilt that he feels for all of the bad guys that he’s just killed?
Could it be that James has a thing for water when it comes to being with the
women? Does a mission not feel truly complete until he’s around that water? Is
he thirsty? Or, less enjoyably, is it pure luck that the screenwriters sought
fit to end the films thusly.
I hate to muddy the waters but I felt it was my responsibility to add yet
another question to the psychological puzzle that is the man, James Bond.
Call your local shrink and let me know.
|